


i’m overcome in this war of hearts

by brittyelaine



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Time, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Connection, Masturbation, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 21:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13085634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: “I felt you,” he says, taking another step forward. His black hair is disheveled, a lock slipping forward over his eye. Rey wants to reach out and push it back. Instead, she swallows. “I can feel your longing.”“I can’t… I can’t help it. I can’t stop it.”





	i’m overcome in this war of hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “War of Hearts” by Ruelle
> 
> Come hang out with me on Tumblr!

Rey wakes with a gasp, and it takes a moment for her surroundings to become clear — she’s in her quarters, alone. Her breathing is labored as she clings to the remnants of her dream; the sheets clinging to her sweat-damp skin. 

She should shake away the thoughts, but she can’t seem to help it. All she can think about is _him._ The way his hands slid over her skin, the press of his lips, warm and wet. Every touch, every kiss incendiary. 

She licks her lips and closes her eyes, chasing the feelings. The images. Her hand, pressed to her chest, slips downward, fingers trailing her stomach before slipping beneath the band of her pajama pants. 

Gasping, she slips a finger through her folds, and finds she’s wet merely from the thought. She bites down on her bottom lip as she pushed a finger inside, her back arching off the bed. 

The room feels different. Quieter. Still. The sound of her heavy breathing seems to echo. And she feels it. _Him._ For a few brief moments, neither speak. She feels him move closer. “Don’t be afraid,” he says, his voice hardly above a whisper. 

“I’m not,” she replies. She slips her hand out of her pants and sits up to find him at the end of her bed, in a similar state of undress. His cotton pants, black and slung low on his hips, are the only thing keeping him from nudity. Rey, at the very least, maintains her modesty with a bralet. 

“I felt you,” he says, taking another step forward. His black hair is disheveled, a lock slipping forward over his eye. Rey wants to reach out and push it back. Instead, she swallows. “I can feel your longing.”

“I can’t…” her lips feel dry, and her tongue glides along them. “I can’t help it. I can’t stop it.”

She’s not sure how he does it, but he settles on her bed. Despite his size, it doesn’t dip beneath his weight. Like the moment they touched hands across that fire, it’s as if they’re more connected than ever. “I don’t want you to stop, Rey.”

Lifting her eyes to meet his, Rey draws a ragged breath. “I don’t want to, either.” Ben reaches out a hand, slowly, steadily, and brushes his fingers along her jaw. It sends shivers down her spine. His hand cups her cheek, and she leans into it, closing her eyes. He feels so real — warm and solid against her. “Ben,” she whispers. 

He leans in and kisses her then, his hands cradling her face. His long fingers dip into her hair, his thumb settles at the hinge of her jaw. The kiss is heated and desperate, his tongue delving into her mouth, and sighing when hers moves to match. 

Rey wraps her arms around him, her fingers mapping the hills and valleys of the muscles in his back. He shifts and pushes her backward, slow and gentle. It’s nothing like she expected him to be. 

In all other aspects of his life, he is angry and violent and rash. Here, in the quiet solitude with Rey, he has the unique opportunity to give in to the light. To give in to the part of him that’s always been hidden away. The part of him that’s allowed love and happiness. 

“How are you doing this?” She gasps as they part, breathless. He trails kisses along her jaw and down her neck to the junction of her shoulder. It gives her goosebumps, and she’ll swear till her death she feels him smirk. 

“We’re connected,” he says, awarding the other side the same attention. “You and me. We can always find each other.”

Her hands slide down his back, gripping his hips. He feels so very real. “But you’re not really here.”

Ben pulls back to look at her, his hair slipping forward. She pushes it back and cradles his cheek. “I’m always here, Rey.” Neither speak or make to move. Their gaze is unwavering. Finally, Ben closes his eyes and drops his forehead to press against hers. “I’m always here,” he says again, his voice strained. 

Rey’s fingers card through his hair and grip the back of his head. She nudges and nuzzles until he lifts his head, and she captures his lips in a deep, languid kiss. However this is happening, however their connection has intensified, she’s not sure she really cares right now. All that matters is that she’s allowing herself this moment, this chance, this fleeting grasp at happiness. 

She shifts, bending her knee to open herself up to him, insinuated between her legs. A soft moan escapes her lips and drowns on his. He rocks his hips, and she breathes out, her head falling back against the pillow. “Ben,” she whimpers, forcing herself to look up at him. “Please.”

“Say it,” he says, voice low and full of gravel. “I want you to say it, Rey.”

His eyes drift down her face, watching as she swallows hard. His eyes linger on her lips, and finally he meets her gaze again. “I want— I _need_ you,” she whispers. She’s surprised by her boldness. This — _Ben_ —is unlike anything she’s ever experienced. She’s lived a life of solitude and never has the opportunity been presented. 

While she should feel terrified, nervous, or uncertain, Rey thinks she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. 

Rey’s answer — her request — seems to please Ben, because he dives in for another heated kiss and his hand finds her thigh, gripping it tight. His hands, massive in comparison to her, paw at her, slipping beneath the confines of her bra to feel her bare skin. He shifts and Rey hardly has time to think on it before he’s yanking her bra over her head. 

He mouths at her nipple, and she whimpers. She grips his hair, arching her back to press against him. He kisses the valley of her chest before he turns his attention to the other nipple, and her body feels like jelly. Words fail her, and she hardly remembers how to breathe. 

Ben pulls away and hooks his fingers in the waistband of her pants, slipping them down her lithe hips. There’s no room for feeling self-conscious about being laid bare before him; he looks as if he could devour her. She watches his face as he drinks her in — desperation, hunger, and excitement fleeting across his dark features. 

Rey reaches up, brushing a lock of hair away from his eyes. The movement almost seems to startle him. He chases it, turning into her hand. His eyes fall closed, and he draws a shaky breath. It’s something they share — the soul-deep craving for gentle, reverent touch. “Ben,” she says softly, and it brings him back. His movements are swift as he rids himself of his pants. 

They breathe together as he settles between her legs, and she doesn’t realize she’s trembling until he cups her cheek, sweeping his thumb across her skin. “It’s alright,” he says, his eyes shining in the dim light of her room. “Just let go, Rey.”

Unable to speak, Rey pulls him in for a kiss and rocks her hips upward, silently giving her permission. He willingly takes it, and with a strangled groan from both, he drags his head through her wetness and pushes in. Slowly. Carefully. 

Rey gasps, her head falling back, her eyes closed. Ben makes no move, despite being fully seated inside of her. “Rey,” he breathes, pressing his lips to her throat. 

Her fingers grip his shoulder tight, and had he been physically present, there would be deep indents from her nails. “Please.” She’s breathless, and her voice nearly fails her, but she manages a syllable. 

He finally moves, and it’s slow and deliberate. Long, languid thrusts and rolls of his hips. The pain subsides, and she’s left with euphoria. With each thrust, each breath, the tension inside builds. When Ben loses the ability to kiss her, his forehead presses to hers, and they breathe into each other — all desperate hands and soft moans. 

Rey falls over the edge first, and Ben finally breaks. They cling to each other, a sheen of sweat between them. 

“Come to me, Rey,” Ben says. They’ve finally parted, allowing each other to regretfully redress. It breaks Rey’s heart to hear the sadness and desperation n his voice. Despite his stature, he looks so small and vulnerable perched at the end of her bed. 

She pushes to her knees and slides her hand across his chest, and upward to touch his cheek. She presses her forehead to his temple. “You know I can’t.”

He moves quicker than she expects him to, and he pulls her into his lap, her thighs straddling his. With one hand around her back, he lifts the other to her face. “You belong by my side. You belong with me.”

Rey draws a deep breath and gently runs her thumb along his bottom lip. “As long as we pledge ourselves to different causes, this is all we can be.”

Ben captures her hand and kisses her palm, closing his eyes as his lips linger on her skin. It feels like goodbye. “We’ll be together one day. I have faith in that. Until then, I’ll take the opportunities I’m given.”

Rey is left with unspoken words on her tongue and an empty bed as the ambient sound in her room returns. The air shifts, and the real world rushes back. 

She stands and crosses the room to her port window, looking out into the vast reaches of space. She presses her fingers to her lips and blinks back the tears in her eyes. “Until then.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first foray into the Star Wars fandom! I know this ship is extremely divisive, but I am ALL ABOARD. There is so much depth and beautiful tragedy and untapped potential in these two. I just... *sigh*
> 
> I told myself I wasn’t well-versed enough in the fandom to write it, but I decided to hell with it!


End file.
